6-15-12 Waiting for What Comes

6-15-12  Waiting for What Comes

Friday night I went down to Asbury Park to join one of the meetup groups for Bon Fire on the beach. It was a nice warm evening and everyone was having a good time. I am glad that I went. Saturday morning I woke up to get ready for my event and I was checking meetups and noticed that my ex-business partner keeps logging in. It came to mind to me what he had told my buddy Mike about how he will never ever speak to me or have anything to do with me ever again so I wondered why the heck is he even still in my group, let alone checking in it? Its like someone having a party and someone who refuses to attend is outside peeking in the windows all night. Forget that! I removed him and I felt instantly better. Mike said I was wrong to have done so but Mary said it was good for me to remove that negativity from my space.

So anyway off to the walking garden tour of Keyport I went, what an awesome time we had! The gardens were lovely and we had such a nice time viewing them. We all particularly loved this one house just a few homes up from the bulkhead that backed right onto the bay. It made me truly wish for a house right there in town! After the walk we went to the Seaport diner for brunch and then several of us went to get psycic readings across the street. Mine said several things: one that money was coming to me, she said that I should quit waiting for the township and that I should list it for sale again as the market has changed. She said that I should quit waiting for Randy to get better as he is only going to get worse and that soon he was going to have some serious problems. She said if I can let go of him that the possibilities are endless whom I can have and that someone will marry me all I need to do is let go of Randy. She also said to be very careful and to keep my business close as people dislike me as they are jealous of me and they pretend to be my friend but are not. I thought about all that and decided to text Randy to warn him of trouble coming, he wouldn't listen and when I told him that someone else was going to marry me he said stop, as in stop saying that. I know he thinks I will wait forever for him but I won't, there really isn't even any romantic love for him left in me, to me he's just a stray dog who is cold and hungry but would just leave again as soon as I fed him and gave him a warm place to sleep...

Saturday night was the Singing Bowls on the beach event.It was lovely and peaceful and rejuvenating and many other things! We had a good turn out too and everyone was so content. I went around and snapped some photos and this one in particular we were very happy with, Lyn said she was playing the root chakara bowl at that time! It was just amazing, so amazing that we scheduled another one for July 13th. After the bowls one of my friends and I went into town and walked and talked and got a slice of Pizza. It was nice.. I love my little town and I love when people hang out with me here.

Sunday was Yoga on the beach, that was nice too but a little hot towards the end sitting there in the sun. Next week I think I shall take an umbrella to practice under! While we were there a hellicopter kept flying over us, for a moment we thought maybe it was a news show and welcomed the plublicity for our yoga classes. But after a bit some firemen came on the beach and we realized that they were searching for a missing person. I asked the class to pause a moment and say a prayer for whomever it was. After class a couple of us went to the diner for brunch, no one can belive the cheap prices and how awesome the food is!

The week was not too eventful other than my son calling a few times with his issues about finding work, taking care of Alex and such. I told him that he has to do this him self so he is trying to. He also told me how he went to threaten Alex's drug dealer with a beating if he sold Zannex to him again. I pointed out that he needed to deal with Alex not his supplier and when Alex got on the phone with me I asked him why and he told me about his anxiety problems. I told him Jeremy has the same and what they BOTH need is to learn to deep meditate. I don't know if they will listen but for sure its the only good way I know of to deal with anxiety. I also discussed with Jeremy why its so hard for him to get a job, the he doesnt like being told what to do or how and that's because he's meant to have his own company someday but for now he needed to buckle down and man up and do what needs to be done!

My older boy arrived safe and sound in Ohio, he had returned to Colorado, got a U-Haul, packed all his stuff and went to live with my Dad while he house hunts. He found a good job at a Hospital in Wheeling, just over the border and the same town he was born in. That boy loves Ohio. I am hoping that he finds and closes on a house by August as that is when I am taking a week off to go visit. I will be able to help him paint and clean and whatever he needs. Much as I wish he were moving to NJ to be near me, I am kinda releived that he is going there so he can be with my Dad. I worry about him being alone now that my Mom died and I am too far away to help him. He's a good boy that son of mine even if he is a bible thumper who thinks that I am going to hell. LOL Maybe someday we will make peace.... at least we don't fight and argue about it anymore.

At one point during the week I was missing my cat too. I texted Randy and said so, kinda hoping he could use his powers to find him. He waited a bit and texted me back that he was not far away, living with someone, he was happy and he said to tell me Hi. I replied back with a self pity see he don't love me or he would have come home like you promised response. Randy sent back that he had been stolen from the street and said it was only 3 houses away to which I replied oh well if he's happy let him stay there, I really had wanted a cat that would sit in my lap or in bed with me as I watched TV and he never would. Randy said that I could go to the shelter and get another one but I said No, I am going to wait for God to bring me a new one, something will show up whent the time is right.

I went to a charity event and made a few new connections, even got interviewed for a TV show this woman is doing. I know that I need to spend time growig what I am doing here with the Yoga and the singing bowls and such. I know that it's time for my sons to make thier own lives, and if they are meant to be with me in the future they will if not at least we can stay connected and visit each other at holidays. In talking to Mary I realize that I still have some abandonment issues related to my birth father abandoning me. I still recall Mom's story she told me again and again, how after giving birth on that day is September she crawled down the hall to use the phone to call his dorm and was told that he had left for law school just that day. She told that story again and again till its become a part of my whole being, I wasn't wanted, I was abandoned, no one was there to love me and take care of me. Its time to heal this and to quit chasing after someone to love me and to always be there because no one is big enough to fill a void that large.

Today I want you all to sit and to heal yourselves from the inside out. Pray, meditate, cry, spend time in nature and find your center. Know that every thing and every one and all that you ever really need is already there inside of you. And as your light grows it will be as a beacon in the darkness and you will automatically attract others to you untill your life is rich and full. But for now, wait for what comes...........


With Love and in the Light, Cassie

New Testimonial about the stones:

Cassie,

THE STONE WORKED!!!!! Thanks. I now have two jobs that are in growth positions to work with. See you when I can. Sorry about missing the meet up I got caught up in cleaning.

see you soon.

Michelle