4-13-12 Stretching Myself

4-13-12     Stretching Myself

So Friday I took my sons to the Twin Lighthouse overlooking Sandy Hook and then to Sandy Hook to walk around and pick up shells and then out to lunch. I don't know that Dustin got into it but Jeremy did and they both ended up helping me pick up shells. On the way home we stopped and got a late lunch and I talked to Dustin about how he feels being out of the Air Force after having been in for 9 years. He said it felt no different but then said maybe because he wasn't officially out yet and also he confessed that no one came to his going away lunch. I was in shock for a minute but then recalled how tough he can be on people. Jeremy was pretty surprised too and tried to tell him how he has to be nicer to people, and Dustin argued that he had to be tough on people to help then to grow.......ugh...

Saturday my card of the day was New Beginings and I felt good about it. I had talked to Randy the night before because I had seen a picture of him on Facebook and it made me miss him. I encouraged him to try and put some effort in his relationship but he didn't want to listen and dropped hints about wanting to find some nice single gal. I guess he is a lost cause and I needn't put any of my good energy in that direction. I put him out of my mind and did my chores and got ready for the concert that night. I had gotten us all tickets for The Marshall Tucker Band free from The Starland Ballroom and shared them with a couple other groups. I really had to remind myself that I do this for the people as I really am not that into going out late and standing up for hours on end in a crowded venue. Then again I do get into the music and the people's energy. I was suprised though to see someone who's been bashing me all over meetup there, using one of MY free tickets. The next day too someone posted and said they suspected I had created a scam as they showed up and had to pay $40 to get in. The organizer I had given 50 free tickets for his group didn't even defend me all he was concerned about was his group not looking bad. I had to go in and defend myself and remind them of all the ways we had provided to get the free tickets, none of which had to do with bothering the Ballroom staff. I feared I may not be able to get more tickets, then again I am ready to stop doing this for them if thats how they are going to act I though to myself.  *sigh*

Sunday was Easter and I did manage to get to church with Dustin, a protestant church that he likes but they did have a few songs that I knew and liked there. I was even almost considering going back there till he got to the part of the sermon where he named all the other leaders of different faiths and pointed out that none of them had died and risen from the dead like Jesus did so of course they aren't the "right" faith. Ugh! Scratch that one, much as I yearn for a church to attend I won't go to one that preaces what goes against my spirit, I've had enough judgement for 100 lifetimes!

Monday when I got back to work I had an e-mail from Bill Weldon, president and CEO of my company! I had totally forgot that I sent him and e-mail with an idea that I had. It came in my mind a few times and just to silence my little voice I finally gave in and sent the suggestion, he answered me within 24 hrs, liked the idea, thanked me TWICE and forwared it on to someone else at corporate and they had called me and e-mailed me while I was on vacation. I was so excited but calm enough to e-mail her back, she called me later in the day and we made plans to meet the very next day. Thats when the fear hit me..... Later that night though there was a post on my facebook page by Larissa Jaye A life coach whom I had went into NYC to take a class with, it an article about someone wanting to do something and not doing it because she was fat. I posted to her thanks I needed that! It was true too, I did fear what if they won't think as highly of me when they see that  I am fat, my company is so big on promoting health and fitness for us.. She reassured me though and I told her I will try and come in and make another of her classes... You can read about my first venture in to see her two years ago here: -big-girls-dont-cry-

Tuesday I went to work untill 2pm then headed off to corporate to meet Wendy. I had posted the night before in my spiritual group for good energy to be sent my way so that I was not afraid and was eloquent and would be well recieved. I toally was! More than I ever hoped I could have been! And it was so easy to get home from that location, I wished some more that my dream of someday working at corporate headquarters would come true! I popped in at the Starland Ballroom to pick up tickets for the next free concert for my group, The Machine, a Pink Floyd cover band. But this time he gave me far fewer tickets for my group, well actually the gal at the door did as she never got my contact on the phone. I don't know if word got back to him about the compliner but I decided to make the best of this, I listed it ONLY in one of my groups and put a much tigheter reign on how to get tickets from me, this time only my loyal members can get them and that just might be for the best...

Wed was a work from home day and Dustin's last day here, Jeremy was hoping to get a phone call to see if it was ok for him to go even though they were looking for work for him so since my brakes were getting worse faster than expected we figured he better do them that day. I was working from home and we ran out on my coffee break to get the parts and he had them on by the end of the day at a fracton of the price of break job! He asked me to ask Randy to come look at the old routers as he wasnt sure we needed them replaced or not, he did come but by the time he did Jeremy had already put the new ones on. He said we coulda got by without them but I did feel better having had them done. I have my income tax money so I am not as concerned at the moment about money and it really is true the more you are relaxed about it the easier it flows..
Thursday I woke up to dream I was in a big library trying to choose a book, I just kept looking and looking and looking and pulling some down but being afraid to choose them, the ones I was afraid to choose were on alternative faiths and such. I imagine I was having that dream because of the debates on religion and faith we were having in the group on facebook we made for my alma mater, University of Steubenville a very strict, very conservative Catholic College. I was trying to explain to them how wonderful Reiki was and how sad that the church has banned it. I stopped on my way home at the nursing home to see my hospice clients, one of them was very sick and his daughter was there and I comforted her, she knows his time is about up. I wanted to offer to give him Reiki and share with her the visits from my mother and grandmother (she is ready to let him go but her biggest worry is not being with him at the moment of his death).  Later that night too as I was shopping for spring blouses at the Good Will store I was looking for V-necks and noted how my grandma, my mother and myself all hate to have anyting around our necks....I know I was condemend to death as a witch in a past life I wonder if they had too and hence our aversion to things around our necks?? I wonder if I am being asked to choose now.... I know I am a Catholic and a christian but are these things truly mutually exclsive??

Friday I was in contact with my old , dear, spiritual friend Beth, she's been going through a lot of healing and she has completed her yoga insturctor training. We talked and have started to beginings of an idea for sunset yoga classes similar to the ones Nancy and I do together but different. I am ready so ready to do some more stretching and growing...

Today look at your life and ask yourself where you can stretch yourself a litte, ignore the protests of your mind and go past your fears, reach beyond that comfort zone and just give something a try.......You'll never know just how far you can reach till you try it, and continued reaching will lenghten those muscles to places you never thought you could go........trust me.....try it....if I can stretch at the age of 51 so can you!

With Love and in the Light, Cassie