4-20-12 Breaking Off to Grow

  4-20-12   Breaking Off to Grow

Friday after work my buddy wanted me to meet him down at an event in Sea Bright I didn't want to go but he talked me into RSVPing, but then I got to working in the yard and then wanted to go to Walmart and just wasn't in the mood to get dressed up and go sit in a bar. I got Jeremy and we went to Walmart and got a canopy for the front deck, it has no roof so besides not having a place to sit in the summer there is no protection from the sun on the picture window. I was quite pleased and took him to dinner at a fast food place. I really do skip most of the events and parties now days but I just feel I need plenty of quieter, me time. This has been my pattern for awhile now and I am not going to fight it.

Saturday I had a posted a hike from The Divorce Support meetup on my Fun and Easy Fitness group since I hadn't had the time to put something up. One of my people ended up coming last minute which was good because I see that I am in no way ready to try and keep up with "regular people". We walked as far as we could (or rather as far as I could) it was uphill so that was my problem. But she and I walked some and sat and talked for a bit. I am also discouraged because I am so behind after being sick How am I ever going to be able to loose weight if I make progress only to get ill and gain it all back again?

Sunday was Yoga, again its horrible how I have slipped with this stuff and how un-flexible that I am. But I did the best I could and I was encouraged by a new person who came who needs it to keep going. The teacher was having a hard time on this day, she is all swammped with huge bills and such. I talked to her for a very long time and gave her encouragement. I told her what a waste it would be to give up on her dream and go work at Starbucks part time instead of doing this.In the evening I got a reading from Adele, she and I call each other and practice our abilities. I find it better to consult with new people who don't know me at all and have no preconceived thoughts about me.My question was what is blocking me having a relationship as I was predicted to have found someone this spring and spring is about over. The main thing she got was that it was the dialogue in my head that keeps me from having someone. I knew exactly what she meant when she said that, I still can't BELIEVE that I can have someone love and want me, and my main reason for that is I think I am so unattractive. Guess it's time to get back on that issue again.........and again while yes I DO need to loose weight, I need to believe in the beauty, and the ability for someone to recognize and love me for that beauty no matter my size...

Monday I came home and had a HUGE fight with my son.He was just angry and cranky and stomping and steaming all over the place. He even threw a tantrum and broke my microwave! By the end of the night I was having chest pains with tingles in my arm that scared the crap out of me and I told him to go to Florida already! I never told him that he can't go I only told him that he shouldn't go, that he always got in trouble with Alex and that he should use the help that is there for him now to go look for work before his unemployment runs out. But he really wants to go and I really need a break from his crankiness. Like I told Mary, I think its a biological thing that makes teenagers and young adults clash with thier parents, so that they can make the necessary breaks needed to forge out and make lives of thier own. Its important that they break away in order to grow, much like how you take a stem from a plant and put it in water so that it forms new roots that can be planted to make a whole new plant!

The rest of the week was pretty much un-remarkable. I still am quite run donw from these sinus issues and just getting by day to day is about all I can handle. I did however have a meeting today again at corporate headquarters, this time I met with the new head of HR. Since it was a work from home day I drove up from home and wow what a pleasant commute that was! The place was abuzz too with gardeners planting flowers and painters doing touch ups. Wendy told me that each spring we have this big shareholders meeting and they have tulips planted to bloom exactly at that time but due to this years unseasonably warm weather they already bloomed so gardners had to come in to plant begonias! It so beautiful there and today we visited another building too. I kept wishing and wishing that somehow I would someday have a job there, for good measure I left a clear quartz SpiritStone in the grass for good measure before I went home.....

But anyway the meeting went very well and Lisa is very much on board with our initiative and said the next steps would be to bring in the Quality Leadership Team. I mentioned that my boss was on that team so our next steps are to have a meeting with him and see if he can get that group on board with this. He had told me how cool that would be if this came full circle. He had also told me that he was happy to see me engaged again. I must confess that I had pretty much given up on my company being a stepping stone to any sucess finacial or otherwise when he told me that his hands were tied on moving me up unless I went back and finished my degree. I didn't see that as an option nor a preference with me and I knew I'd have to break off and grow someplace else. When I came home there was an e-mail from my bosses boss asking to see the e-mail I had sent to Bill. Yeah NOW she notices that I exist! Ha! But that's ok, she's a busy woman and she hasn't got to know me yet.....

Today I want you to see what areas in your life or ideas that you've had or plans that you've wanted to accomplish aren't growing as well as they should, what can you break off and "plant" somewhere else? Or perhaps its a relationship you have with a friend or a child or even a lover....sometimes things have to break away and given a chance to grow on thier own..otherwise they will suck the life force from YOU. But not to worry, just like a person who loses a limb can still feel it, or a loved one who has passed on still seems to be with us at times....we remain forever energetically connected to that which was a part of us. So don't be afraid to break off to allow growth!

With Love and in the Light, Cassie